When I listened back to this JournalTalk conversation with my guest Kim Ades (nearly ten years after recording it) I expected to hear an interesting discussion about the mechanics of journaling.

Instead, I heard something much deeper.

While Kim and I were planning the details of the podcast episode together ... Before we ever talked about expressive writing, handwriting versus typing, or the science behind journaling, my guest, Kim Ades, made a simple observation that quietly reframed the entire conversation. She told me she preferred not knowing the interview questions ahead of time.

At first, that sounded counterintuitive. Most of us assume preparation leads to better answers. But Kim explained that not knowing what was coming required her to pay closer attention. It invited her to be fully present. Without a prepared script, she could respond authentically rather than perform.

Listening to that exchange today, it strikes me that this same principle lies at the heart of meaningful journaling: The greatest gift of expressive writing is not that it helps us produce better words. It helps us become more present with ourselves.

Journaling Creates Space to Listen

Our minds are rarely quiet.

Thoughts race from one concern to another. We replay conversations, anticipate future problems, revisit old disappointments, and make plans for tomorrow—all often within a matter of minutes. I like to call it "The Thought Machine" at work.

Most of these thoughts pass by so quickly that we barely notice them. Yet they continue shaping our emotions, decisions, and relationships. 

Expressive writing interrupts that process.

When we slow down enough to write, our thoughts can no longer rush ahead unchecked. We begin noticing what is actually occupying our attention instead of simply reacting to it.

In many ways, journaling becomes an act of listening; not listening to someone else's advice.

Listening to ourselves.

Capturing What Would Otherwise Be Lost

One insight from the podcast conversation has stayed with me ever since. Kim pointed out that talking and writing both allow us to express ourselves, but they are not the same experience.

When we speak, our words are heard and then disappear. When we write, our thoughts are captured. That distinction may seem small, but it changes everything.

Once our thoughts exist outside of us, they become something we can return to. We can notice recurring themes, identify patterns, question assumptions, and discover connections that would otherwise remain hidden.

This is one of the reasons I have always believed expressive writing is so valuable. Writing doesn't simply help us express our thoughts.

It helps us see them.

Slowing Down the Mind

Another idea from this conversation feels even more relevant today than it did when we first recorded it.

Kim described journaling as a naturally meditative process.

Whether we're writing by hand or typing on a keyboard, our hands move more slowly than our minds. Writing forces us to pause between thoughts, giving our nervous system a chance to settle and our ideas an opportunity to take shape.

As a psychotherapist, I've come to appreciate just how important this slowing down can be.

Many people come to therapy feeling overwhelmed not because they lack answers, but because everything inside them feels tangled together.

Writing creates enough space to begin gently separating one thought from another. Often, clarity doesn't arrive because we discover something entirely new. It arrives because we've finally become still enough to recognize what was there all along.

The Patterns We Keep Returning To

One question I asked during the interview still feels incredibly relevant:

How do we know which thoughts deserve our attention?

After all, we experience countless thoughts every day. We couldn't possibly write them all down.

Kim's answer was wonderfully simple.

We don't need to capture everything.

Over time, journaling naturally reveals what continues asking for our attention.

Perhaps you keep writing about the same relationship. The same career question. The same fear. The same dream you've been postponing.

Those recurring themes aren't failures of imagination.

They're invitations.

Your journal quietly highlights what your inner life has been trying to tell you.

From Accountability to Self-Guidance

Toward the end of our conversation, we shifted from journaling itself to the role it can play in coaching and personal growth.

One idea stood out to me then, and it has only grown more meaningful over the years.

Kim challenged the common idea that lasting change comes primarily through accountability.

Instead, she emphasized something she called self-guidance.

That phrase has stayed with me.

External accountability can certainly help us accomplish tasks. But sustainable growth rarely comes from someone else reminding us what we should be doing.

Real transformation happens when we begin understanding why we do what we do.

When we recognize our beliefs.

When we notice our habits.

When we learn to trust our own capacity for reflection.

Expressive writing supports that kind of growth because it strengthens our relationship with ourselves.

Rather than becoming dependent on someone else's direction, we begin developing our own.

Why This Conversation Still Matters

When I first recorded this episode, I was deeply interested in the practice of journaling.

Today, after years of accompanying people through anxiety, grief, life transitions, relationship struggles, and personal growth, I find myself appreciating an even deeper truth.

Journaling isn't powerful because it is a productivity tool.

It isn't powerful because it helps us write beautiful prose.

And it isn't powerful because there is one perfect technique.

It is powerful because it invites us into a different relationship with our own experience.

Writing slows us down.

It captures what would otherwise disappear.

It reveals the patterns we might never notice.

And perhaps most importantly, it helps us hear the quiet wisdom that often gets drowned out by the noise of everyday life.

That, to me, is where the real magic of journaling has always been.

Listen to the Original Episode

In this episode of JournalTalk Q&A, Kim Ades and I explore what makes journaling such a transformative practice. Together we discuss why writing feels different from talking, how expressive writing creates space for reflection, why recurring journal themes matter, and how journaling can become a lifelong practice of self-guidance.

If you've ever wondered why putting pen to paper can leave you feeling calmer, clearer, and more connected to yourself, I hope you'll enjoy listening to the full conversation.